To Be Friends or Not To Be Friends

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To Be Friends or Not To Be Friends

jaaziel barajas, staff writer

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“We’re bffs, and we love each other so much we’re practically sisters.” How important are your friendships? How do you think boys’ friendships differ, in general, from girls?

These were some of the questions that I had been pondering on this past week. I’ve noticed many girls, including me, have closer relationships than boys do with their friends. What is it? Is it just the fact that girls are more open to their friends than guys are? So, here’s the big question; Do boys have less intense friendships than girls?

In my opinion, I think boys do have less intense friendships than girls do. I feel like girls are more open to their friends than boys are. I can relate to that, I have a best friend and we’ve been best friends about 11 years now, and we have a better relationship than most other guys. But it goes both ways as well I think. I have a best guy friend and he’s awesome. I tell him everything too, whether it be what I did over the weekend or something personal, and I’ve known him for a long time too. But if I had to choose between my girl best friend or my guy best friend I would have to go with my girl best friend.

Maybe it has to do with how well you connect with someone. I know guys connect with each other pretty well. There’s never any drama between guys and they never get mad at each other for a long time while girls will be mad each other for months. For instance, I once got mad at a girl for almost a whole month and we didn’t talk during that whole time we were mad. At the end of it all we didn’t even remember what we were mad about. I’ve seen guys get mad at each other but it wasn’t even more than 10 minutes. Girl relationsips are much more intense. But shouldn’t that mean guys would have an even more intense relationship that girls?

A recent study shown by Dr. Way, a professor at New York University and an expert in developmental adolescent psychology, had been focusing on male friendships and she said that the boys need for intimate friendship is as potent as it is for girls. Boys in early adolescence would speak candidly about those friendships to Dr. Way and her researchers, acknowledging the importance of having a best friend who was both repository and guard for their most private feelings. But as the boys grew older, the intensity of those relationships faded. Boys feared being seen as “too girly” or even gay for expressing attachments to one another, even just for feeling them. (information courtesy from The New York Times: The Learning Network, Do boys have less intense friendships than girls?)

This shows how guys feel about having a close relationship with their friends. It’s really not about how they connect or what they talk to each other about or even how much they open up to each other. It has more to do with their reputation and how they would look with each other. But it doesn’t mean that guys and girls can’t be best friends with each other.

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